Episode 2

full
Published on:

15th Jan 2024

Who's watching? Imagined audiences and the imposter experience

In the Age of Visibility, Who's Really Watching? Examining Imagined Audiences and Imposter Feelings in Online Entrepreneurship (Psychologically Speaking)

This episode delves into the digital landscape, where imposter feelings aren't mere shadows, but thriving companions for online entrepreneurs, particularly women. Join psychologist Leila Ainge as she unpacks the concept of "context collapse" and its profound impact on their success.

Through insightful examples from her research (shared anonymously, of course!), Leila reveals the hidden anxieties and coping strategies used by these online business owners. Explore the powerful role of language in navigating the challenges of visibility and competition in the digital sphere.

Here's what you'll discover:

  • How "context collapse" blurs the lines between online and offline worlds, fueling imposter feelings.
  • The unique challenges faced by female entrepreneurs in the digital age.
  • The crucial role of language in navigating online spaces

Connect with Leila online at www.leilaainge.co.uk and subscribe to her newsletter for psychological insights direct to your inbox.

 

Psychologically Speaking is produced by Buckers at Decibelle Creative / @decibelle_creative  

Transcript
Leila Ainge:

You. Welcome back.

Leila Ainge:

Last time we looked at the impostor backstory and the

Leila Ainge:

obsession on fixing the individual. It's why

Leila Ainge:

I've asked you to think about impostor as a phenomenon

Leila Ainge:

rather than a syndrome. So let's move our focus

Leila Ainge:

to the spaces where the phenomenon thrives.

Leila Ainge:

My research shows that visibility, comparison

Leila Ainge:

and competition are, at the heart of impostor

Leila Ainge:

experiences for entrepreneur preneurs in online

Leila Ainge:

spaces. Yet women are getting ahead and getting

Leila Ainge:

things done. So what's going on? How should

Leila Ainge:

we navigate networks and how can we use those

Leila Ainge:

impostor experiences in helpful ways?

Leila Ainge:

In today's episode, we're going to take a look at

Leila Ainge:

imagined audiences and why the women who

Leila Ainge:

took part in my research have adapted and created

Leila Ainge:

ways of coping. We'll explore this through

Leila Ainge:

the lens of a psychological term called context

Leila Ainge:

collapse. And, this is going to be supported by some

Leila Ainge:

quotes from my research.

Leila Ainge:

I promised anonymity to my

Leila Ainge:

participants, so it's my voice you're going

Leila Ainge:

to hear. We'll be using pseudonyms that closely

Leila Ainge:

match the background and generation of the women who took

Leila Ainge:

part. And I'm going to give you a bit of context,

Leila Ainge:

because most of the women I talked to had been

Leila Ainge:

successfully running their businesses for seven years or

Leila Ainge:

more. The types of spaces they were in

Leila Ainge:

and communities they were using were paid for.

Leila Ainge:

Groups, places like doing it for

Leila Ainge:

the kids found and flourish. Real work, mama

Leila Ainge:

hive. Being freelance, they were

Leila Ainge:

also in more transient spaces, like

Leila Ainge:

a Facebook or a slack group that they would have been given

Leila Ainge:

access to when they've purchased a course or

Leila Ainge:

piece of learning.

Leila Ainge:

So these women were members of multiple

Leila Ainge:

groups. And while some of the comments

Leila Ainge:

are attributed to specific scenarios or

Leila Ainge:

spaces, the quotes I'm using today

Leila Ainge:

are from the core themes of my research and relate

Leila Ainge:

more generally to impostorous experience in all of

Leila Ainge:

these online community spaces.

Leila Ainge:

How do we find spaces online

Leila Ainge:

that work for us? How are women ending up in these

Leila Ainge:

communities? Well, the beauty of online

Leila Ainge:

spaces and social network sites is that it's

Leila Ainge:

really easy to find people like us through the

Leila Ainge:

use of language. And one of my research

Leila Ainge:

participants, Erica, made me laugh out

Leila Ainge:

loud with her example. She

Leila Ainge:

said, I don't want you to refer to me

Leila Ainge:

or anybody else in my community as honey, sweetie,

Leila Ainge:

lovely. Hey, girl. Boss. It's not who I

Leila Ainge:

am. Now. Erica had a

Leila Ainge:

really clear sense of the group she would and would not

Leila Ainge:

belong to. I like to think of this as a

Leila Ainge:

kind of social gps that guides us to

Leila Ainge:

places and spaces that match with our culture,

Leila Ainge:

behaviour, and interests.

Leila Ainge:

Erica's using comparison to answer the question, are

Leila Ainge:

they like me? This

Leila Ainge:

comparison is helpful, and it's essential,

Leila Ainge:

because running a business using online platforms like

Leila Ainge:

Instagram or Facebook is very different to the

Leila Ainge:

way we might use the spaces for day to day

Leila Ainge:

friendships. For many

Leila Ainge:

entrepreneurs, these spaces provide peer

Leila Ainge:

support and access to potential

Leila Ainge:

customers. Online communities

Leila Ainge:

also create a kind of buffer from social media,

Leila Ainge:

and women describe there being a risk of being

Leila Ainge:

canceled or piled on, and that online

Leila Ainge:

behavior feeds the fear of being found

Leila Ainge:

out. So that's what makes these communities so

Leila Ainge:

attractive, the peer support and, the

Leila Ainge:

relative safety compared to the

Leila Ainge:

vastness of social media.

Leila Ainge:

But there's one big occupational hazard

Leila Ainge:

in communities and wider social media, and

Leila Ainge:

that's cohabiting with the competition.

Leila Ainge:

It can lead to exhausting thoughts

Leila Ainge:

about imagined audiences, and it's

Leila Ainge:

here that the impostor experience

Leila Ainge:

thrives.

Leila Ainge:

If our, social gps works well,

Leila Ainge:

we end up in a space that's aligned with our

Leila Ainge:

personal values, and we will feel

Leila Ainge:

supported, but we still have to deal with the

Leila Ainge:

competition. Psychologically

Leila Ainge:

speaking, one of the reasons we have

Leila Ainge:

exhausting thoughts is context

Leila Ainge:

collapse. Effectively, context collapse

Leila Ainge:

is described by a psychologist as a

Leila Ainge:

meshing and flattening of audience that happens

Leila Ainge:

in online spaces. It's a complete

Leila Ainge:

loss of context. It's the reason your

Leila Ainge:

content. It's

Leila Ainge:

the reason your content can be viewed by your ideal customer

Leila Ainge:

or a friend of your nan in the same

Leila Ainge:

breath, depending on how

Leila Ainge:

your network is and the

Leila Ainge:

starting that bit again.

Leila Ainge:

psychologically speaking, one of the reasons we

Leila Ainge:

have exhausting thoughts is context collapse.

Leila Ainge:

Effectively, context collapse is described by

Leila Ainge:

your psychologists as a meshing and flattening of

Leila Ainge:

audiences. And this happens exclusively

Leila Ainge:

in online spaces.

Leila Ainge:

It's a complete loss of context, and it's

Leila Ainge:

the same reason that our content can be viewed by an

Leila Ainge:

ideal customer or a friend of

Leila Ainge:

Unan's. Depending on how

Leila Ainge:

big your network is and the restrictions you apply,

Leila Ainge:

the effects of context collapse could vary.

Leila Ainge:

And, what's really interesting is that in

Leila Ainge:

social media, some of the restrictions you can put

Leila Ainge:

on are you stop following people, or you

Leila Ainge:

can restrict your account. In online

Leila Ainge:

communities, what we'll discover is that

Leila Ainge:

there are fewer restrictions that we can place

Leila Ainge:

on who can see what we put into the

Leila Ainge:

communities. And there's a very different type of behavior

Leila Ainge:

that is happening

Leila Ainge:

from a networking perspective, context

Leila Ainge:

collapse is brilliant because it enables us

Leila Ainge:

to acquire something called social capital.

Leila Ainge:

Now, this can look like shared resources, favors, or

Leila Ainge:

introductions. Being online

Leila Ainge:

created new possibilities and connections for the women

Leila Ainge:

I spoke to. And I want you to think about that

Leila Ainge:

word possibility, because it's one of the ways

Leila Ainge:

in which we could characterize social capital.

Leila Ainge:

Possibility and potential lead to

Leila Ainge:

opportunities, but they're very difficult

Leila Ainge:

to pin down and quantify.

Leila Ainge:

Now, there are different ideas

Leila Ainge:

from economists and psychologists and

Leila Ainge:

sociologists about the way we can measure our return

Leila Ainge:

on investment for every connection that we

Leila Ainge:

make,

Leila Ainge:

or the number of online or offline events we could

Leila Ainge:

join as a result of putting ourselves out there in the social

Leila Ainge:

spaces. I'm really interested in finding

Leila Ainge:

a way in which we can measure the benefit of networking.

Leila Ainge:

In fact, it's one of the core themes in my current

Leila Ainge:

research. But for now,

Leila Ainge:

but for now, let's consider that online

Leila Ainge:

networking is really important for

Leila Ainge:

women. Several studies show that women

Leila Ainge:

entrepreneurs are less likely to have access to traditional

Leila Ainge:

networks as men. And, my impostor research backs

Leila Ainge:

that up, because women talked about the shift to doing

Leila Ainge:

more business online in the pandemic, and they

Leila Ainge:

described it as a leveling of the playing field.

Leila Ainge:

But notice how that

Leila Ainge:

phrase level playing field, which sounds really

Leila Ainge:

equitable, has a sporting, competitive

Leila Ainge:

nature. Love it or hate

Leila Ainge:

it, networking creates potential and

Leila Ainge:

opportunities that we otherwise would not have.

Leila Ainge:

In fact, psychologists have identified. This is

Leila Ainge:

central to our entrepreneurial identity,

Leila Ainge:

but we sit awkwardly with it, because online spaces

Leila Ainge:

weren't created to make us feel safe and

Leila Ainge:

supported. They were initially created as a way

Leila Ainge:

to connect large numbers of people with other people,

Leila Ainge:

and potentially to make money in the process.

Leila Ainge:

But back to this idea of context collapse.

Leila Ainge:

I want to introduce you to some of the phrases that came up in the

Leila Ainge:

course of my research, because they brilliantly

Leila Ainge:

describe the awkward relationship some of us have with

Leila Ainge:

the visibility that goes with networking and showing

Leila Ainge:

up online.

Leila Ainge:

The first extract is from Kayla. I want

Leila Ainge:

you to know that Kayla is hugely successful. She's a

Leila Ainge:

serial entrepreneur with a big presence in online spaces

Leila Ainge:

and communities. And Kayla says,

Leila Ainge:

there's people in my space who I respect. I have their phone

Leila Ainge:

number, I support them. I can't follow them for the

Leila Ainge:

life of me, because when I'm in that moment of the impostor

Leila Ainge:

phenomenon going whoosh, I start to think

Leila Ainge:

of them and I start to think, what would they think if they saw this?

Leila Ainge:

Or would they think if they knew this? And like, that's so not

Leila Ainge:

me. And it gets me in a space of doubt, and it

Leila Ainge:

gets me in a space where I just want to run away. And,

Leila Ainge:

yeah, my business requires me to be visible

Leila Ainge:

all. Now,

Leila Ainge:

there was a consistent narrative from the women I spoke to

Leila Ainge:

about the overwhelming feeling of

Leila Ainge:

imposter phenomenon.

Leila Ainge:

Now, there was a consistent narrative from the women I spoke to

Leila Ainge:

about the overwhelming feeling of imposter

Leila Ainge:

phenomenon. They often described it as

Leila Ainge:

a dynamic reaction experienced in key

Leila Ainge:

moments. Kayla uses the

Leila Ainge:

whoosh of impostor energy when she

Leila Ainge:

considers that imagined audience. Another

Leila Ainge:

participant, Danielle, used an energetic phrase.

Leila Ainge:

She said it's like a waterfall.

Leila Ainge:

Unsurprisingly, given the flood

Leila Ainge:

of impostor experiences, mentioned by

Leila Ainge:

those participants, there are many references

Leila Ainge:

to fight and flight behaviours. If we go back to what

Leila Ainge:

Kayla says, I just want to run away.

Leila Ainge:

Kayla's comments spoke to the broader social

Leila Ainge:

media platforms.

Leila Ainge:

So let's hear what Asima said about being in an

Leila Ainge:

online community.

Leila Ainge:

I don't feel like I have a place in, there.

Leila Ainge:

I hesitate so much to be able to speak up

Leila Ainge:

and I don't know whether it's because I'm scared that somebody might come

Leila Ainge:

along and say no, what you're saying is wrong.

Leila Ainge:

What struck me about this extract is

Leila Ainge:

that Asima is an expert in her

Leila Ainge:

field, qualified and, then sub. She

Leila Ainge:

shouldn't have to worry about telling people.

Leila Ainge:

What struck me,

Leila Ainge:

what struck me about this extract is that Asima is

Leila Ainge:

an expert in her field, qualified and then

Leila Ainge:

some. She shouldn't have to worry about people telling her that

Leila Ainge:

she's wrong. But the idea that somebody

Leila Ainge:

unknown could expose her as being a fraud was

Leila Ainge:

enough to hesitate and hold back.

Leila Ainge:

What Seema tells us is that being a member of a

Leila Ainge:

community doesn't guarantee a feeling of belonging or

Leila Ainge:

place. Despite that social

Leila Ainge:

gps navigating and helping us find people

Leila Ainge:

who are like us, the audience

Leila Ainge:

is still perceived as ambiguous.

Leila Ainge:

Participants would use words like somebody people

Leila Ainge:

them thinking of their community peers as a

Leila Ainge:

threat. We'll come

Leila Ainge:

back to the comment Asima makes. Somebody might

Leila Ainge:

come along and say, no, what you're saying is wrong. Towards the

Leila Ainge:

episode, we're going to come

Leila Ainge:

back to the comment Asima makes about people

Leila Ainge:

thinking that she might be wrong towards the end of the

Leila Ainge:

episode.

Leila Ainge:

But next up is one of my favourite

Leila Ainge:

quotes from the whole piece of research

Leila Ainge:

because it's describing a hidden impostor

Leila Ainge:

experience on two levels. I

Leila Ainge:

need to give you context here.

Leila Ainge:

Chloe and I had been discussing the

Leila Ainge:

time she took part in a group video call

Leila Ainge:

organised by a member of her community.

Leila Ainge:

One of the members was talking about an unfair customer

Leila Ainge:

complaint and what to do about it. And the way

Leila Ainge:

Chloe remembers this, the group were listening and helping

Leila Ainge:

her work through the problem. But Chloe was a

Leila Ainge:

silent participant in that process. So

Leila Ainge:

what we hear next is her held back thought

Leila Ainge:

process. Chloe told

Leila Ainge:

me. I sat there listening to the whole thing

Leila Ainge:

and everyone was like, no, you must go back. And

Leila Ainge:

she came back with a really great solution.

Leila Ainge:

But what I would have done

Leila Ainge:

would have been to say yes to the

Leila Ainge:

refund and then resented it.

Leila Ainge:

And at the end, I was like, this has been so insightful,

Leila Ainge:

because everything that you're saying is, I get it, but

Leila Ainge:

it's just not where I would have been.

Leila Ainge:

Chloe listens rather than contributes. And

Leila Ainge:

I know from speaking to members and founders of social

Leila Ainge:

spaces that participation engagement is

Leila Ainge:

something that is highly valued. It leads to

Leila Ainge:

social capital gains. The more you put yourself out there,

Leila Ainge:

the greater opportunity for connection.

Leila Ainge:

It's curious then, isn't it, to see how this

Leila Ainge:

helpful and silent comparison enables

Leila Ainge:

Chloe to benefit from advice because

Leila Ainge:

she's taken away the risk of exposing herself during the

Leila Ainge:

learning process. Chloe's engagement

Leila Ainge:

with online communities might be

Leila Ainge:

vicarious, but it still brings social

Leila Ainge:

capital gains. She still has access to other

Leila Ainge:

people, their thought processes, other

Leila Ainge:

resources. But importantly, she's learning through

Leila Ainge:

the process not just about what she should

Leila Ainge:

do, but comparing herself to the community is

Leila Ainge:

enabling her to think about how she approaches

Leila Ainge:

business. Here's that second

Leila Ainge:

level of impostor. Chloe

Leila Ainge:

also went on to tell me, I was going

Leila Ainge:

to say to, her, you do have to be careful where you

Leila Ainge:

share. Now, what I love

Leila Ainge:

about this specific quote is the way Chloe

Leila Ainge:

experiences the risk aversion that we associate

Leila Ainge:

with impostor experiences on behalf of someone

Leila Ainge:

else. Chloe's fear of exposure is

Leila Ainge:

projected silently but urgently. Although

Leila Ainge:

she wanted to say something to another member, that

Leila Ainge:

concern is held back. And the concerns that the

Leila Ainge:

participants gave for their peers during the

Leila Ainge:

research illustrates that there are different risk

Leila Ainge:

appetites amongst members in those communities.

Leila Ainge:

And I love how it shows the protectiveness group

Leila Ainge:

members feel, too. At

Leila Ainge:

the start of this episode, I said that we would

Leila Ainge:

move our focus to the spaces where the impostor

Leila Ainge:

phenomenon thrives. You've heard how

Leila Ainge:

entrepreneurs like Erica are using language as a

Leila Ainge:

way to navigate a really saturated

Leila Ainge:

environment. Her comment made me laugh because

Leila Ainge:

it resonated. I've never considered

Leila Ainge:

myself to be a girl boss, for example, but

Leila Ainge:

I know that sentiment is an example of the way

Leila Ainge:

we use language as labels and hashtags, and

Leila Ainge:

it's one way of finding and experiencing belonging

Leila Ainge:

in online spaces, especially with the

Leila Ainge:

vastness. The

Leila Ainge:

strength of our reaction to some of these phrases can tell

Leila Ainge:

us a lot about where we think we will belong and

Leila Ainge:

how comparison is useful.

Leila Ainge:

Eric is seeking out a corner of the Internet,

Leila Ainge:

or, as some of the entrepreneurs I spoke to called it,

Leila Ainge:

digital rooms where they would feel that they could

Leila Ainge:

belong. I picked out

Leila Ainge:

quotes from Kayla and Chloe to compare and

Leila Ainge:

contrast the impostor experience between social

Leila Ainge:

media and online communities, Kayla was using

Leila Ainge:

avoidance tactics as she wouldn't see the posts of other

Leila Ainge:

entrepreneurs, whereas Chloe was joining in and

Leila Ainge:

following the experiences of peers silently.

Leila Ainge:

It's worth mentioning that in online communities,

Leila Ainge:

there are fewer ways to unfollow and see what other

Leila Ainge:

members are posting. But my research

Leila Ainge:

shows that this is managed because members like

Leila Ainge:

Chloe get to sit behind the scenes and observe

Leila Ainge:

what's going on. It's another useful way in which

Leila Ainge:

comparison is showing up.

Leila Ainge:

Asima's quote is different. Again, she

Leila Ainge:

said, I'm scared that somebody might come along and say,

Leila Ainge:

no, what you're saying is wrong.

Leila Ainge:

Asima is, anticipating that imagined

Leila Ainge:

audience and, that they're going to tell her that she's

Leila Ainge:

wrong. Is this Asima's problem,

Leila Ainge:

though? Or is it a societal one?

Leila Ainge:

Instead of the old impostor advice to feel

Leila Ainge:

confident in our abilities, where is the practical

Leila Ainge:

advice on how to disagree and deal with

Leila Ainge:

objections? Where's the evidence that our online

Leila Ainge:

spaces are places where we can respectfully debate

Leila Ainge:

rather than denounce?

Leila Ainge:

Now, according to the psychologist Amy

Leila Ainge:

Edmondson, this belief that we could be

Leila Ainge:

punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas,

Leila Ainge:

questions, concerns, or mistakes in a workplace

Leila Ainge:

is known as psychological safety.

Leila Ainge:

So it's interesting then, because for entrepreneurs,

Leila Ainge:

this belief transfers to the online space and that

Leila Ainge:

fear of getting something so wrong that we might be

Leila Ainge:

canceled and that would be really bad for

Leila Ainge:

business. It also looks like the fear

Leila Ainge:

of being exposed, which feeds those imposter

Leila Ainge:

feelings.

Leila Ainge:

You. Hopefully today's episode adds

Leila Ainge:

an extra layer onto the idea that women are not the

Leila Ainge:

problem. Comparison is long thought to

Leila Ainge:

be a negative trait of impostor syndrome,

Leila Ainge:

but it's actually a tool we can use to navigate

Leila Ainge:

spaces and consider what is going on behind the

Leila Ainge:

scenes. Communities provide

Leila Ainge:

fewer tools than social media to block or

Leila Ainge:

limit what we see our competition getting up

Leila Ainge:

to, but they play an important role in

Leila Ainge:

normalizing what really goes on behind the perfect

Leila Ainge:

Instagram grid. They reduce

Leila Ainge:

those impostor experiences.

Leila Ainge:

Coming up next on psychologically speaking,

Leila Ainge:

I'm delighted to have Christina Clark and Laura

Leila Ainge:

Stern from work culture arti along for

Leila Ainge:

a chat about all things psychological safety.

Leila Ainge:

So we're going to be having a good look at all the things that

Leila Ainge:

we can do to create spaces that eliminate that,

Leila Ainge:

impostor feeling. And.

Next Episode All Episodes Previous Episode

Listen for free

Show artwork for Psychologically Speaking with Leila Ainge

About the Podcast

Psychologically Speaking with Leila Ainge
Psychological insights, without the jargon. Psychologist & coach Leila Ainge explores the fascinating world of human behaviour, weaving together ground-breaking research & real-life experiences.
A psychologist's insight into the fascinating world of human behaviour without the jargon, with Psychologist & coach, Leila Ainge. Blending scientific research with real experiences, Leila is on a mission to reframe outdated notions of imposter syndrome. Psychologically Speaking delves into Leila's own ground-breaking research, exploring what drives those pesky fraudulent feelings in entrepreneurs, the unexpected advantages, and how you can actually leverage imposter moments to your benefit (yes, really). This podcast is for anyone who has ever felt like a fraud, just moments away from being 'found out'.
This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative